Thanks for all the suggestions! There seems to be something else that might be happening that might ‘solve’ my need for an alternative.
From what I found out (it seems) DT behaves differently when deleting files from iCloud folders whether they are in a shared iCloud folder or a non-shared iCloud folder. The intended behavior seems to be that files deleted via DT are supposed to be deleted from the iCloud folder (after confirming the alert) but that does not happen when the iCloud folder is shared. I’m currently investigating what happens here: Dropbox and Onedrive locations being automatically changed....effect on indexed DT databases - #26 by cgrunenberg
EDIT: testing further I can’t always reproduce the behavior, so it’s still the question why the deletion of files in one iCloud folder works, while not in another. I’ll investigate further.