Memory usage depends basically on the number of opened databases and their number of items & words. The size of the database or files does not really matter, likewise it doesn’t matter whether files are imported or indexed.
Anyway, the memory usage usually increases while using the app due to extensive caching. Therefore it’s most likely working as expected.
As my understanding is macOS gives apps memory if available and requested and takes away when memory short. So memory use is also under control of macOS. Have I got that sort of correct?
That’s not possible and would impact the performance. The only option is to open as few databases as necessary (and maybe to split large databases if only a subset of their data is usually required).